A Fun Look At The Law

It’s hot in Arizona these days, with a dome of heat parked right over us.  Rather than thinking about my shoes melting as they hit the asphalt, I thought I would take a fun look at the law.

Let’s turn to the elementary schools to see what they consider legally silly.  Forest Grove Elementary, part of the Pacific Grove Unified School District in Monterey, California, has put out a curated list of what states have enacted that seem to fall into the category of “Dumb Laws.” (https://forestgrove.pgusd.org/documents/Computer-Lab/Strange-State-Laws.pdf.)   

 Here’s a sampling, with my additional research and/or comments.  In Alaska, one may hunt a bear, but one may not wake up a bear and take a picture “for photo opportunities.”  Merriam Webster defines “photo opportunity” as “a situation or event that lends itself to and is often arranged expressly for the taking of pictures that give favorable publicity to the individuals photographed.”  Based on that definition, inquiring minds are wondering, is it then OK to wake a bear for one’s personal collection?   Perhaps, but it would be incredibly stupid.  Alaska wants to keep its wild bears wild.     

Arizona has some common-sense laws.  For instance, it is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.  Pursuant to the official reading at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, we have recently broken a record with 24 (possibly more?) straight days of temperatures over 110 degrees. Such a law makes perfect sense—it’s the law of the desert.  The list also states that Arizona prohibits donkeys from sleeping in bathtubs.  Apparently, in 1924, someone let his donkey fall asleep in an outdoor bathtub.  Flash flooding took the bathtub to a lower elevation, and the downhill townspeople brought the donkey back to the owner.  The townspeople then signed a petition to never allow such a public nuisance again.  In Glendale, Arizona, no one minds if you back your car out of your driveway, but they needed a law to prevent rugged individualists from driving backwards for prolonged periods of time.      

In Arkansas, it is the law that the State’s name be pronounced “Arkansaw.”  It has been pronounced incorrectly for so long that the residents of the State have had enough!  It is also illegal to buy or sell blue light bulbs, because the State Police use the color for emergencies, and other people should not. 

California has a potpourri of fascinating laws.  In Hollywood, it’s illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.  The Los Angeles Almanac only tells us that the problem arose in the days when Hollywood was an independent city.  It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.  https://www.southwestjournal.com/california-the-strange-and-quirky-laws-your-faqs-answered/.  It is considered manipulative. Today one might be reprimanded for excessive crying.  Women may not drive in a house coat.  Is that the law in California, or just Beverly Hills?  Apparently, it’s Los Angeles.  Of course, the modern-day meaning of “house coat,” used at the time of enactment of the law, is “nightgown.”  Currently, there is a slim-to-none chance of the law ever being enforced.   

In Cripple Creek, Colorado, it is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.  https://kekbfm.com/strangest-laws-in-colorado/.   However, in Massachusetts, one may keep a mule on the second floor of a building, so long as the mule is not in the city, and there are two exists. 

In Colorado, it is also illegal to ride a horse while one is under the influence.  Is the prohibition as to the horse, or the person? In Denver, the dog catcher must notify dogs (owners not mentioned) of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.  Apparently, Denver has brilliant dogs that are now able to read and have intelligent discussions with guests and housemates.

Connecticut expects its residents to pay attention at political gatherings.  Hence, Atwood has an ordinance that it is illegal to play scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.  Gaming is apparently on everyone’s mind.  The State’s Gaming Division advises that one should play poker for purely social reasons—it’s OK to receive something of value from other game participants, but not from anyone else.  In 2017, Connecticut became the first state to allow judges to appoint legal advocates to represent animals’ interest in abuse cases.  Unfortunately, in Hartford, it is illegal to educate dogs. One canine trainer has an ad with dogs wearing prison costumes, stating that it still intends to keep training dogs.  One assumes it’s OK to educate cats in Connecticut. They don’t seem to be listed.     

In Washington, D.C. (not a state, but still included on the list), it is illegal to give a false weather report (18 U.S. Code §2074).  Over a century ago, the Weather Bureau wanted meteorology to become an established science.  Congress assisted, passing a 1905 appropriation bill outlawing false weather reports, keeping amateur weather forecasters from claiming they were providing official government forecasts.  Of course, even today, we still complain about the inaccuracy of weather reports. 

In Florida, we learn that it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.  No one seems to know when, or why, the law was enacted.  Several law firms affirm, online, that the ban still exists, but advise that the law is “generally” not enforced.  Rats are also forbidden from disembarking from ships while the ships are docked in Tampa Bay. I guess it’s OK if they ride the ship to Port Canaveral and disembark there.  In Hialeah, where the racetracks are, “ambling and strolling” is a misdemeanor.  The Cambridge Dictionary advises us that “to amble” is to “walk in a slow and relaxed way.”  “Stroll” is also listed as a synonym of “amble.”  They both describe a way of walking.  Of course, ambling also refers to a horse’s four-beat gait, which would be faster than a walk.  Perhaps Hialeah doesn’t want jockeys taking leisurely walks, or horses engaging in fancy hoof-work.    

In 1923, at a time when legislators were concerned that not enough English was being spoken, Illinois adopted “American” as the State’s official language.  In 1969, the law was quietly changed to state “English.”  In Chicago, it is illegal to eat in a restaurant on fire.  Does that mean there are too many individuals in the Windy City devoted to deep-dish pizza who refuse to leave in the event of an emergency?  Or just too many chefs who have not mastered their skills? 

In Illinois, it is apparently unlawful to record surreptitiously your conversations with other parties.  You need a bit of background on this. Under the old law, which was considered overly broad, it was illegal to record any conversation unless everyone consented.  This led to the  kids’ soccer-game hypothetical:  suppose you are recording the game, but you capture the conversation of parents nearby watching the game?  Is that violating the law? To solve the problem, in 2015, the Illinois eavesdropping statute was amended.  It added key words, such as “eavesdropping device,” and recording something in a “surreptitious manner,” to capture a “private conversation.”  Recording public events would not be surreptitious, and no one would have an expectation of privacy.  However, Illinois still takes the minority position that if one records his/her conversation, in a surreptitious manner, everyone to that conversation must consent to the recording.  In a substantial majority of the states, surreptitious recording of oral communications is permitted “so long as the person making the recording consents.”  (Definitely a low bar to meet.)    Another issue with the new Illinois statute is that it is unclear what is a “private conversation.”  It requires a “reasonable expectation of privacy,” but there is no definition as to what that means.           

In New Hampshire, if you want to do a kind thing, such as “rake the beaches,” “pick up litter,” or “haul away trash,” you’ll be fined $150 unless you have a permit.  It’s considered “maintaining the national forest without a permit.” 

In New York, jaywalking is illegal, if it is done in a diagonal fashion.  So, it’s OK to cross the street even though you are not in the crosswalk, so long as you don’t do it diagonally. The Pacific Grove Computer Lab, which compiled the Dumb Laws list, also stated that New York once had a law that no one could talk on an elevator and must fold his/her hands in front while looking at the door. I could not confirm that such a law ever existed.  However, the practice seems to make sense, probably developing from the ubiquity of elevators in New York City. 

Enjoy the week!